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Is There A Manual On Life, Love, And Loss??
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Who ever comes up with this manual will be a billionaire and a genius in my eyes.
Life is so tricky...so many twists, turns, heartaches, vibrant experiences. I would NEVER in a million years give up one experience in my life regardless how tough it was. Yes, terrible things happened to me when I was younger. People were mean, an abusive past, things didn't work out as planned, But, it has made me into the Strong, Loving woman I am.
You receive the standard advice from friends, loved ones and even strangers. Each and everyone is like a little Angel on your shoulder. Willing to share their life's lessons and help people avoid such heartache and loss. Sure some people want to brush that sweet angel away and say It just won’t happen to them. I on the other hand strongly believe that things happen for a reason. I'd love to just sit down one day and write my life story and hope that it will help the next person walking towards the same goals in their life.
I know I'm given only what I'm able to handle as some wonderful person said to me at my younger years. That has helped me struggle through all those tough times in my life. Yeah it may seem like you are swimming in a deep dark despairing sea, but if you point your head in the right direction and fight for all it's worth, You will break free. May seem like it will never happen and it wont, especially if you keep that attitude. If you believe in yourself and that you can and will get out, You are the only one who can make the difference between surviving or just plain giving up.
Life is tough but I feel Love can be tougher and yes even more Puzzling. You know that sweet childhood game with the beautiful flower you pick dreaming of your young crush...does he love me...does he love me not?!?! Well, I do and I have decided it should be Do I love him, Do I love him not?!?!? Marriage is a tough battle and it seems now a days people are more apt to just give up the fight early on to search for greener pastures. Well, I for one can not delve into this topic as I am still newly married and struggling every day with my inner turmoil. All I can say for sure is, MY POOR HUSBAND...Now that is an Angel worth hanging on to. Any man who can put up with a raging Hormonal woman deserves an award.
We both came from families with many children. You know the average among 3 or 4. So, in good conscious, we have decided to have 4 for ourselves. Unfortunately and Fortunately, we decided to have them very close together. We adore and love our children, but Man there really needs to be a book out there on how to get past some obstacles. It's like everyone goes through these little problems and big problems and Not one person wants to give out the secret on how to deal with the tantrums, the crying, the fighting, or what have you. They just want to see how you deal with it yourself and determine what type of parent you are or will be. Unless of course you may be a stubborn one and just ignore the little Angel advice being whispered in your ears or flat out thrown right at you so you can trip on the great advice. Some advice I listened to, some I just flat out ignored, and some just contradicted each other.
The main thing I have determined is By Golly the advice itself is more of a hassle than a help at some time, especially for new parents. It is hard enough stressing every minute of the day if your newborn is okay, well feed, sleeping well, will he/she be okay if I sleep, or should I hold them all night just so I can sleep? Who really needs all the stress of one person throwing out there that they never did this, you are doing it wrong, or that's an odd way of doing that...That to me had been the worst part of raising children. After our second child was born, I began to relax and found it was actually joyful having more children and not as stressful as people have said.
The only regret I had was I had to return to work two weeks after having our second child. I believe the stress of that lost time between my newborn and our financial situation put a huge strain on our marriage. Thank the Heavens above I have the husband I have or else we would have been through. Sure, he put more strain on me and I as well onto him, but it was a mutual problem. No One person is to be fully blamed for a marriage going sour, it is a joint problem just a marriage is a joint decision.
We have had our trying times, our calling it quits, our separations, and yes even a file for divorce. Something in us never gave up though. For one reason or another, we fought that deep dark sea of despair, the I do this you don't do that, I'm better at this than you ever could be...I tell you One important lesson...or tip what have you....STOP WITH THE BLAME GAME!!! It only hurts the marriage more and is a battle that will never be won.
With our third child came the realization I could not bare to lose any more time with my children. I left the work force and my husband had a job lined up. Sure, it has been a huge struggle and I admit...I really wonder if I'm a good enough parent. Some nights I go to bed thinking God I wish I didn't say that or do that. I wish I handled that better, but the only way I can think of a better solution is to say....Tomorrow is another day and you can start anew. You need to give yourself a break. Times are tricky, children can be tricky and yes even marriage can be just a tricky. Live for the moment and try with all your might to handle the situation at hand as best as you can. Then when you head to bed, you can go with a happy heart and know you did do the best you can. You never know what will happen each day and you wouldn't want the last words, thoughts, or emotions being negative. I know that's a tall order to fill and I tell you something, I struggle EVERY day, hour, minute and even second with this challenge.
On to the most devastating of all, Loss. It's hard to lose someone or something you have loved. It almost seems so surreal until you are face to face with your loved one. I had my first exposure to this as a teenager when I lost my Grandfather. I wasn't there when it happened, I saw my mother crying and I just couldn't figure out How I felt. The night I actually saw my Grandfather is the day I first understood loss. I couldn't believe the man I saw, who was always so strong, loving, and wonderful, could be there in a box and would never hug me again. I balled like a baby and vowed I would never in a million years let myself feel this way.....
Well, That's one vow I broke. I had gotten my first dog while still in high school and raised him for 11 years. Until Cancer took him from me. That was just as painful as losing my Grandfather. My dog, which turned out to be my husband and my First child. Our oldest child was around him the most and our second child was only a few months old when we lost him.
It seems to me that long ago vow was made in vain way back then. You can live your life like you want, experience it grab it by the horns and tackle every battle regardless of the pain or joy. Or, you can tuck your heart away and just hide it from the world never exposing it to the joys of marriage or raising children. Why throw away the greatest gift given to you by just rolling over and letting the pain pass by you in waves. GET UP and fight for what's yours. Your life, Your Love and yes, even your loss. You will see each one will Make you who you are and even who you are meant to be.
So that said, Strap on the gloves, Pull back your hair, and Fight for all it's worth. After all, It is your life isn't it???
Life is so tricky...so many twists, turns, heartaches, vibrant experiences. I would NEVER in a million years give up one experience in my life regardless how tough it was. Yes, terrible things happened to me when I was younger. People were mean, an abusive past, things didn't work out as planned, But, it has made me into the Strong, Loving woman I am.
You receive the standard advice from friends, loved ones and even strangers. Each and everyone is like a little Angel on your shoulder. Willing to share their life's lessons and help people avoid such heartache and loss. Sure some people want to brush that sweet angel away and say It just won’t happen to them. I on the other hand strongly believe that things happen for a reason. I'd love to just sit down one day and write my life story and hope that it will help the next person walking towards the same goals in their life.
I know I'm given only what I'm able to handle as some wonderful person said to me at my younger years. That has helped me struggle through all those tough times in my life. Yeah it may seem like you are swimming in a deep dark despairing sea, but if you point your head in the right direction and fight for all it's worth, You will break free. May seem like it will never happen and it wont, especially if you keep that attitude. If you believe in yourself and that you can and will get out, You are the only one who can make the difference between surviving or just plain giving up.
Life is tough but I feel Love can be tougher and yes even more Puzzling. You know that sweet childhood game with the beautiful flower you pick dreaming of your young crush...does he love me...does he love me not?!?! Well, I do and I have decided it should be Do I love him, Do I love him not?!?!? Marriage is a tough battle and it seems now a days people are more apt to just give up the fight early on to search for greener pastures. Well, I for one can not delve into this topic as I am still newly married and struggling every day with my inner turmoil. All I can say for sure is, MY POOR HUSBAND...Now that is an Angel worth hanging on to. Any man who can put up with a raging Hormonal woman deserves an award.
We both came from families with many children. You know the average among 3 or 4. So, in good conscious, we have decided to have 4 for ourselves. Unfortunately and Fortunately, we decided to have them very close together. We adore and love our children, but Man there really needs to be a book out there on how to get past some obstacles. It's like everyone goes through these little problems and big problems and Not one person wants to give out the secret on how to deal with the tantrums, the crying, the fighting, or what have you. They just want to see how you deal with it yourself and determine what type of parent you are or will be. Unless of course you may be a stubborn one and just ignore the little Angel advice being whispered in your ears or flat out thrown right at you so you can trip on the great advice. Some advice I listened to, some I just flat out ignored, and some just contradicted each other.
The main thing I have determined is By Golly the advice itself is more of a hassle than a help at some time, especially for new parents. It is hard enough stressing every minute of the day if your newborn is okay, well feed, sleeping well, will he/she be okay if I sleep, or should I hold them all night just so I can sleep? Who really needs all the stress of one person throwing out there that they never did this, you are doing it wrong, or that's an odd way of doing that...That to me had been the worst part of raising children. After our second child was born, I began to relax and found it was actually joyful having more children and not as stressful as people have said.
The only regret I had was I had to return to work two weeks after having our second child. I believe the stress of that lost time between my newborn and our financial situation put a huge strain on our marriage. Thank the Heavens above I have the husband I have or else we would have been through. Sure, he put more strain on me and I as well onto him, but it was a mutual problem. No One person is to be fully blamed for a marriage going sour, it is a joint problem just a marriage is a joint decision.
We have had our trying times, our calling it quits, our separations, and yes even a file for divorce. Something in us never gave up though. For one reason or another, we fought that deep dark sea of despair, the I do this you don't do that, I'm better at this than you ever could be...I tell you One important lesson...or tip what have you....STOP WITH THE BLAME GAME!!! It only hurts the marriage more and is a battle that will never be won.
With our third child came the realization I could not bare to lose any more time with my children. I left the work force and my husband had a job lined up. Sure, it has been a huge struggle and I admit...I really wonder if I'm a good enough parent. Some nights I go to bed thinking God I wish I didn't say that or do that. I wish I handled that better, but the only way I can think of a better solution is to say....Tomorrow is another day and you can start anew. You need to give yourself a break. Times are tricky, children can be tricky and yes even marriage can be just a tricky. Live for the moment and try with all your might to handle the situation at hand as best as you can. Then when you head to bed, you can go with a happy heart and know you did do the best you can. You never know what will happen each day and you wouldn't want the last words, thoughts, or emotions being negative. I know that's a tall order to fill and I tell you something, I struggle EVERY day, hour, minute and even second with this challenge.
On to the most devastating of all, Loss. It's hard to lose someone or something you have loved. It almost seems so surreal until you are face to face with your loved one. I had my first exposure to this as a teenager when I lost my Grandfather. I wasn't there when it happened, I saw my mother crying and I just couldn't figure out How I felt. The night I actually saw my Grandfather is the day I first understood loss. I couldn't believe the man I saw, who was always so strong, loving, and wonderful, could be there in a box and would never hug me again. I balled like a baby and vowed I would never in a million years let myself feel this way.....
Well, That's one vow I broke. I had gotten my first dog while still in high school and raised him for 11 years. Until Cancer took him from me. That was just as painful as losing my Grandfather. My dog, which turned out to be my husband and my First child. Our oldest child was around him the most and our second child was only a few months old when we lost him.
It seems to me that long ago vow was made in vain way back then. You can live your life like you want, experience it grab it by the horns and tackle every battle regardless of the pain or joy. Or, you can tuck your heart away and just hide it from the world never exposing it to the joys of marriage or raising children. Why throw away the greatest gift given to you by just rolling over and letting the pain pass by you in waves. GET UP and fight for what's yours. Your life, Your Love and yes, even your loss. You will see each one will Make you who you are and even who you are meant to be.
So that said, Strap on the gloves, Pull back your hair, and Fight for all it's worth. After all, It is your life isn't it???
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